There is a new movie out this week -it isn't get great reviews by the critics - James Garner is the lead actor- it probably won't last long in the theaters but it will have a shelf-life which may make more money than selling seats in the movie house.

As I understand the movie, it is about a man thinking about passing his wealth to his children. As he thinks about this, he realizes that there is more to life than money. In fact, he realizes that if he passes along his considerable wealth alone it will turn out a disaster for his children.

He realizes that real wealth isn't money but values - what he believes, what he understands about character and who he really is.

So the movie talks about how to pass on these values that are more important than stocks and bonds and real estate. One of the ideas suggested in the movie is how to make a video of yourself talking to your children and grandchildren about your values.

I thought about this - what a great idea. Sit a video camera on a tripod. Get a script (you can buy a whole kit from Jim Stovall which explains this process). Record yourself telling your children and grandchildren and great-children what is really important in life!.

I understand that financial planners are buying the book, The Ultimate Gift, by the hundreds and handing them out to their clients.

I am ordering a book for myself. If the movie does open here in Phoenix, I am going to go and see it.

So here is the question, What gift(s) are we going to leave our children?

Here is the information: The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall.

Here is one review:

I subscribe to Forbes: "In the March 12th issue of Forbes, Alan Farnham commented: "Having had an advance screening, we can tell you authoritatively that you've never seen a picture like it. Take It's a Wonderful Life, add The Heiress, put in a pinch of The Millionaire (a 1931 goodie with George Arliss) and you're starting to get warm. Starring James Garner, it's a witty, winning explication of how--as today's financial planners like to say--you can 'leave your legacy' successfully.""

A fellow Blogger, Theophileous suggested on my last blog about worry that fear and worry were twins. He suggested that they might be linked at their roots.

Let's think about this for a few minutes.

What is worry? Worry is the habit in which a person thinks about an area of concern in a persistant manner believing that the continuous attention to the concern will somehow affect its eventual outcome. This continuous 'gnawing on the bone' many times occupies the worrier day and night. Why do we do this? Some of us worry because we do think it makes a difference. But at the root there is a more significant issue.

The issue is FEAR. I learned an interesting definiton of fear that fits in here with worry.

F - False
E - Evidence
A - Appearing
R - Real

Think with me for a moment about how our fears are expressed. I propose most of our fears are expressed as worries. We worry if we will lose our job. We worry about how a medical test will turn out. We worry about our children's safety. There may be a legitimate foundation for this worrying - but much of it is really at its root - FEAR.

I would propose that fear is the opposite of FAITH.

My definition of faith is

F - Fully
A - Attending wtih
I - Interest and
T - Trust in my
H - Higher Power

When we worry we are fearful and when we are fearful we are not leaning on our Spiritual Resources.

There is a saying, "Letting Go and Letting God".

How do you deal with your worries and fears?

(c) 2007 Ronald Friesen

Has anyone called you a 'worry-wart'?

Do you know a 'worry-wart'?

Think about this habit - worrying:

Worry - spending energy and time on things that either:

a. Won't happen

b. You can do nothing about

c. Things you actually can do something about

People who study these things say this:

a. Spending time on what Won't Happen is a waste of time because 85% it never happens!

b. Spending time on What You Can Do Nothing About - is a waste of time because this is about 10% of what you are actually worrying about.

c. Spending time on what actually do something about is 5% of what you worry about.

So the secret of worrying is to worry effectively!!!

There is actually an ancient formula to figure this out:

"Do not worry about tomorrow" - Can you do anything about the future? You can't control if it is going to rain, snow or hail. You can't contol your friend's temper. You can't control your boss or your employer's performance tomorrow. You can't determine anything about tomorrow - even if you are or are not going to be here. So spending time worrying about the future is a waste of time (That's probably about 45% of all of our worrying.)

"Do not worry about the past" - Now we often replay the tapes of the past and talk to ourselves (and anyone who will listen) about our past. Can we undo the past? We might want to - but realistically can we change the past? We can change our attitude about what happened about the past (this isn't worrying - this is reflecting and making a change of stance or attitude toward those past events). Most of our worrying about the past is a wast of time - probably about 40% of all of our worrying.

Do not worry about Today - We can turn 'worrying' about today into productive thinking about we can do with today. We can plan our day. We can make decisions today about things that effect today. We can invest energy and time in making good use of our time. Remember, though that we cannot control today - we can only manage our response to what happens. Just like we cannot control the weather, we can only manage our response to it. We can decide if we will take a raincoat or an umbrella or leave it at home. "Worrying" about the present is effective in that it focuses our energy and time on the 10% of life that we can actually do something about!

Join me in learning to practice this habit - Quit Worrying!

(c) 2007 Ronald Friesen

This morning, in my emailbox, I received an email from Forbes.com (I subscribe to it) which talked about hiring an Image Doctor.

This set my mind to thinking.

Lots of people made resolutions about six week ago about working on their habits - most of those habits had to do with changing their image - losing weight, getting a new facelift, buying a new wardrobe, getting a new job or a new career, etc.

The problem with working on the image is that images are mostly about externals. Images are about what I want other people to think about me - I want them to think I am good looking, smart, have money, etc.

A few years ago I was introduced to the concept of the 'false self'. The false self is the mask I wear to impress the world about how nice I am, how smart I am, how cool I am.

I think hiring a image doctor is about working managing the 'false self' - about finding someone to work on the image I present to others.

The issue isn't what you present to others externally, the issue is who are you on the inside. In the end of the day, what you are in the inside comes out to the world around you.

I don't think I need an image doctor.

I do need to watch what I feast on everyday - mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

I do become what I consume!

(c) 2007 Ronald Friesen

If you have time, head over to Whit Whittling's blog: bushsyndrome.blogstream.com and read his essay on Love!

It is right on and powerful!

ron