"Life is not a problem to be solved but a gift to be opened." (Wayne Mueller,The Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood).

Too many of us treat our lives or the lives of others as problems to be solved as opposed gifts to be opened!

If you are a teacher - do you see your students as problems to be fixed or as gifts waiting to explore new thoughts?

If you are a parent - do you see your children as problems to get rid of or as gifts who add to the quality of your life?

If you are in relationship - do you see your partner as a problem to be changed or a gift be embraced?

If you go to work everyday - do you see your co-workers as problems who complicate your life or as gifts who enhance your effectiveness?

If you live in a neighborhood - do you see your neighbors as problems to avoid or as gifts for which you are grateful?

How about your own life - do you see your life as a problem to be solved or a gift to be received and celebrated?

It's all a matter of perspective!

(c)2006 Ronald Friesen

The violence we preach is not
the violence of the sword,
the violence of hatred.
It is the violence of love,
of brotherhood,
the violence that wills to beat weapons
into sickles for work.

oscar romero, november 27, 1977

"Me? Serve her!"

"I don't serve anyone!"

Sound familiar?

This is the world we live in. Each one for himself or herself. Look out for Number One!

At the outset, let it be known that I am not a member of the Roman Catholic Church. At the same time, I find I can learn something from other Christians (that is another habit followers of Jesus learn to practice).

One of the teachings which Roman Catholics hold to is this: 'live out the Eucharist." This is such a part of the liturgy that worshippers leave the sanctuary with these final words ringing in their ears: "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord and one another." The assumption is that serving the Lord is serving the way the Lord did - by giving His life for the world.

Now reflect with me for a moment about this. As we celebrate the communion meal, we remember the death Christ died for us. We focus on the fact that Jesus voluntarily gave his life for us. This sacrifice is a sacrifice with extends to us the forgiveness of our sins. So it has real meaning and impact for each of us. Yet it is more than forgiveness.

Jesus' death is also a model for us - it is a picture of how we are to live - we are to voluntarily and willingly, just as Jesus did, lay down our lives for each other. We are to serve one another the way Christ served us.

I don't know about you - but I am often like the imaginery conversation at the beginning of this piece. I really am not interested in serving others many days.

But then again, I am reminded that Jesus served me! Is there any greater gift I can give to Him than the gift of serving others?

One of the greatest examples in recent memory of this kind of service is Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

After briefly discussing how God loved our world in and through Jesus, Mother Teresa writes these words:

"God continues to love the world in our day. He sends you and me to show that he still loves the world and that he has not stopped having mercy on it. It is we who today have to be his love and mercy to the world." (Mother Teresa, Heart of Joy, The Transforming Power of Self-Giving, 1987, pp.31-32).

Mother Teresa concludes her thoughts on this self-giving life with this prayer:

"Lord, make us worthy to serve our brothers,
men of all the world,
who live and die in poverty and hunger.
Give them this day, through our hands, their daily bread.
And through our love and understanding, give them peace and joy. Amen. (p.38)

Following Mother Teresa and other faithful followers of Jesus, let us practice this habit of the church - Serve One Another!

How many times have you said or heard someone else say that 'I want to happy.'

Here are my thoughts on searching for happiness.

We are sold a bill of goods in this country that happiness is a 'right.' Well, that is a crock. No one has a right to be happy - even if the Bill of Rights says it.

Here is the problem: happiness is based on happenings. So if good things happen I am happy. This means that my happiness is totally dependent on external circumstances. I am making other people or the situation around me responsible for my happiness.

From a follower of Jesus perspective, I can tell you that the Bible never talks about being happy - it does talk about being filled with joy. I think joy is a much deeper quality than happiness. Joy is about a depth of peace, love, kindness, self-control that is much deeper about the temporary kick I get because some thing good happened to me. In fact, sometimes joy comes because I do something kind for someone else.

I learned something the other day. I learned that calm is really the state we all seek. The tricky thing about calm is that you don't really know you have it. Calm is like your cheek. When do you recognize your cheek? When you bite on it or there is a painful zit on it. Otherwise your cheek is just there - being calm. That is really the state most of us want to live in. For people who were raised in chaotic homes or who have lived chaotic lives (often people caught in addictive or violent lifestyles) the idea of calm is boring. But actually calm is good. It is normal. So you might ask yourself - am I looking for calm or am I looking for something to make me happy.

So the first secret to finding happiness is to live in calm. To relish the peace and quiet of the soul. I think this what the writer of the Psalms meant when he said that God told him, "Be still and know that I am God."

The second secret of finding happiness is to realize that it isn't really happiness you and I seek, it is joy. And joy comes from deep inside of myself. So today, take sometime to think about what joy might look like for you.

May you find the happiness, I mean... the joy, you seek.

Honor - definition: 'to hold in high respect'.

We usually think of giving honor to a person who accomplishes a noteworthy achievement or does a heroic act. Since 9/11/01 many of us have come to appreciate and honor the service of first responders (police officers and firemen) in our society. In our society you get honor if you do something special.

Did you know that you don't have to do anything special to receive honor?

You just have to be yourself!

You just have to show up! God honors you just because you are you!

God made you, put you on the earth and he is honored to call you his child. He says that your existence proves his existence! You are the image of God in the world. What a self-esteem booster that thought is!

So I say - Honor yourself today by loving yourself - the self God made! Like Ethel Waters used say, "God don't make junk!" Remember - paying honor means 'giving respect to' - to respect yourself.

Treat yourself with respect! Eat healthy food. Get enough sleep. Let go of old resentments. Let go of anger. Listen to uplifting music. Read inspiring literature. Go for a walk. Spend time with a friend.

Now here is the catch - after you've honored yourself for being around, honor someone else for just being! Other people don't have to do anything special to receive honor - they just have to be! They are children of God. They are like you - so respect them.

In fact, respect them even more than you respect yourself!

I remember being at a conference years ago and the speaker told us to look into the face of the person next to us. So I did this. Then we were supposed to say something to this person. I still remember telling the young lady next to me, "You have the most beautiful blue eyes." She began to cry! Apparently no one had ever said this to her. I had just paid her great honor.

So today - practice this habit of the church - Honor one another above yourselves.